I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Randomize
