We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
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