my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
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