The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Randomize
