I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
Yo dont text me then not text me
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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