just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
