someone get that fucking seahorse.
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
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