dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Randomize
