it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
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