nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
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