I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
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