porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
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