Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
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