Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
Is it because I queefed?
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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