I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Randomize
