The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
I just want to make out with him forever
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
