Someone shit on the floor
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Holy shit dude........stairs
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
