I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
