if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Randomize
