I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
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