Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Randomize
