and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
