i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
