evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
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