dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
organizing the empties. That sober.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Randomize
