uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
