And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
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