would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
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