hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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