She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
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It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
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I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
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