I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize