Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Randomize
