i dedicated my morning wood to you.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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