Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
Jerry, you need to find god
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
I have aggressive nipples.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
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