dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize
