wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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