I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
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