I'm laying in your front yard are you home
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
