Banned from zoo.
Again?
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
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