he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
