I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Randomize
