So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
