I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
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