It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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