I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
