That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Randomize
