dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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