Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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