they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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