you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
