i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
Randomize
