I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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