You're my little dorito
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
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