Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
Randomize
