I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
