How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Randomize
