At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Randomize
