God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Randomize
